Review: “Alien Mate” by Eve Langlais
Posted by Ames
What would you do if an alien materialized in your living room and told you he was your leader? Plump Diana is ironing her underwear when the hottest blue babe in all of the galaxy appears in her living room. Did she forget to mention he was naked? Abducted, decontaminated, and dressed like a harem girl, she’s been chosen to become his mate. Kor asked his ancestors to find him a biddable, docile mate. Instead they found him Diana–a curvy, argumentative earthling who sets his pulse pounding and his loins on fire. He might be an alien who doesn’t understand the meaning of love, but he sure knows what he feels is more than lust.
Published June 14th 2010 by Amira Press
Read: 07 July 2011
Raise your hand if you iron your underwear? No one? Diana does. She’s a little plumper than your average gal so her undies contain little more fabric to actually wrinkle. Anyway, one day she’s ironing away when this suddenly appears in her living room:
It’s that bloke off Watchmen , a.k.a. a naked blue man with a huge, er…
His name is Kor’iander. Coriander? No, Kor’iander, or Kor for short. So Coriander turns to Diana in all his blue naked glory and demands her submissiveness, claiming she is his mate and he her “leader”, come to collect her and return to his home planet, where incidentally everyone is blue.
I know, I know. Sounds weird and a little silly. I thought so too at first but it’s a fun and honest story. It isn’t pretending to be a grand, deep and meaningful saga. Coriander was adorable. He completely accepted and loved Diana’s curves partly because the sight “A too-slim female is the sign of a poor provider”, to Di’s astonishment. Diana’s refusal to immediately obey and bow to his wishes to mate with him left the poor guy flummoxed. He’d requested a docile partner to bond with when he put in his application to the Oracle and the ancestral spirits, and they’re supposed to give you what you want, not what you need, which is what happened here. He was a gentleman, he never forced himself on her. Instead he listened to what she wanted and endeavoured to give it to her. Courtship was, forgive me, an alien concept to him but he gave in to her wishes and made his best effort to comply.
Di is a heroine I can appreciate. After reading many a clueless, too stupid to live lead, this girl, she made a HUGE mistake -a slip of the tongue but immediately afterwards without any prompting she knew she’d done wrong and wished to take it back. She freely admits she deserved a Darwin Award for her recklessness. Much better than blindly stumbling about with no regard for one’s own safety and being too dumb to realise it.
However, it wasn’t until just before they arrive at Kor’s homeworld that this book started to press my “things I really like” buttons. The history of his race, the death of the women and the resulting sterility leading them to seek and take women from other races, mostly Earthlings because they both descend from the same humanoid race but have evolved slightly differently in accordance with their planet’s environments. It’s actually the suns that turn Kor’s people blue, as Di discovers other Earthlings also have a blueish hue to their skins.
The scarceness of women on the planet mean that they’re fiercely protected and must abide by certain rules in order to remain safe. Most of these women are from other worlds and are taken, stolen if you will, without their consent. This issue is addressed here. Not all of the women are happy, not all adjust to their new situation or accept their new “husbands” but these women were picked because they had few ties, no boyfriends/girlfriends or real friends and family to speak of, hopefully making it easier for them to embrace a new life where they’ll be both loved and cherished.
I’m jealous of the technology mentioned. Housework would be history and I like the idea of having a laugh with my very own Holly (from the brilliant 80s TV show Red Dwarf). In this case his name is Alphie, the talking computer with a sarcastic attitude.
I’m not an alienist. If a blue god appeared before me, he wouldn’t have to say a word. I’d jump into his arms and say “When are we leaving?”
I’d really like to add some but there are too many to choose from.