Monthly Archives: May 2011

ZAM: How Long Would YOU Survive?

To wrap up Survival Week, here are a couple of things that will help you determine How Long Would YOU Survive a Zombie Outbreak?

Do you live on a college campus? If so, follow this flowchart to find out how long you’d last.

Of course, anyone can take the Z-SAT: Zombie Survival Aptitude Test to make sure they’re well prepared.


Do you think you can survive a zombie outbreak? How will you know unless you take the test? The Zombie Survival Aptitude Test is one of the greatest tools a zombie survivalist can have. Find out what your grade is, before it’s too late! Don’t wait until the dead rise to prepare, do it now! This is the most important test you will ever take… it could save your life.


Z-SAT is an adventure; it is an exploration into zombie survival situations. This book is a consolidation of many different zombie related questions and situations. The purpose of this book is to test your knowledge and skills using a safe medium in order to discover and realize your actual potential of surviving a zombie outbreak. Enjoy this book in its entirety; answer the questions and review situations individually and with a group of friends. This book is meant to be a tool in order to aid zombie survivalists in testing and training themselves and their team members for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Good Luck, God Bless, and God Speed.

And, finally, make sure you are smart when choosing your mode of transportation! Lest you end up like this guy.


Fox News reported on 7 Apr that “A self-described “zombie enthusiast” was busted at New York City’s Port Authority Bus Terminal in possession of swords, knives, burglar tools, night-vision goggles and hand-drawn blueprints, The Post reports.

Christopher Rodger, 25, first drew the attention of two police officers Tuesday when he was spotted wearing a trench coat on a warm night, and had an “empty” look in his eyes, sources said.

Officers Thomas Kemble and Leonard Trubia grew even more suspicious when they spotted the long camouflage bag Rodger had slung over his shoulder.

When the cops questioned him, Rodger blurted that he was carrying a gas-powered pellet gun.

That prompted a search which also turned up five samurai swords, three daggers and other knives, police said.”

Read more on the story

Weekly Overview (May 22nd)

In the last week…

ZAM Week 3: Survival of the Fittest!

ZAM saw:

We asked whether the zombie apocalypse could really happen which the CDC later all but confirmed the possibility when they acknowledged the undead threat.

Steph supplied us with some much needed survival advice including a weapons guide and I provided some tips on identfying and distracting zombies.

You can test your knowledge gained about zombies and practice your skills at killing them in Practice Makes Perfect.

We scoured the virtual shelves for an ultimate survival book wishlist in Wishing Well Wednesday to fill in any gaps in your knowledge.

I laughed at the Dick Figures video “Zombies & Shotguns” and was intrigued by this week’s Freaky Friday featuring a wise but zombified Marie Curie, an unusual Thanksgiving and a not so pretty Brad Pitt.

Ever wonder How Long Would YOU Survive? Use the college student flowchart or take the Z-SAT test and find out. Plus, a warning on what not to do.

Other posts included:

What’s coming up…

ZAM Week 4: Zombies Need Love Too!

We’ll be discussing whether loving a zombie makes you a necrophiliac.

The living aren’t the only people who have difficulty finding love so there’ll be zombie dating advice and tips on how to attract the best partners.

We’re also going to (reluctantly) look at zombie sex.

And much more!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and see you next week!

~May is ‘Zombie Awareness Month’ (ZAM)~

Review: Killbox by Ann Aguirre

Killbox (Sirantha Jax #4)
by Ann Aguirre

Talk is cheap when lives are in jeopardy

Sirantha Jax is a “Jumper,” a woman who possesses the unique genetic makeup needed to navigate faster than light ships through grimspace. With no tolerance for political diplomacy, she quits her ambassador post so she can get back to saving the universe the way she does best—by mouthing off and kicking butt.

And her tactics are needed more than ever. Flesh-eating aliens are attacking stations on the outskirts of space, and for many people, the Conglomerate’s forces are arriving too late to serve and protect them.

Now, Jax must take matters into her own hands by recruiting a militia to defend the frontiers—out of the worst criminals, mercenaries, and raiders that ever traveled through grimspace…

Paperback, 353 pages
Published August 31st 2010 by Ace
ISBN#: 9780441019410

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Read: 19 May 2011

Killbox, the 4th in Ann Aguirre’s Sirantha Jax series, was one of my favorites of the series. One downside … the wait until September for Aftermath #5 following a cliffhanger. I knew and still I still I read, so I only have myself to blame. 😉

This edition finds Sirantha and her merry band of space warriors dealing with slavers, pirates and the continued battle between the Syndicate and the Conglomerate post-Farwan collapse.

Sirantha also finds herself dealing with the fact that she’s slowly, but surely becoming more … more realistic in her decision making, more a part of the team and more ‘other’.

The pace is set high early on and doesn’t let us catch our breathe, making this a page-turner you find yourself blowing through without realizing it.

March is asked by Councilor Tarn to be commander of a Conglomerate armada, giving him access to much needed funds and allowing him to build it as he sees fit. Knowing it’s their best shot, he accepts. Of course his tried and true space mates are first to join up with him.

Thus begins yet another self-imposed wedge between March and Sirantha. The relationship between these two continues to be one in which one or both push the other away. But, they always seem to find their way back to each other, even against all odds. So, I’m hoping this case will be no different. ROLL-OVER SPOILER

We, as readers, can feel the heartbreaking effects of war as the characters battle their way from jump to jump. Ann does a wonderful job of creating stories in which you immediately find yourself walking through the pages with them, feeling their losses and enjoying their moments of celebration and love.

I continue to be intrigued by Vel. I cannot wait to learn more about the full story behind the tattoo. Their relationship to date has been one of trust, respect and platonic partnership. You can definitely see what a major part of Jax’ life he has become since he found her as a bounty hunter. I have really enjoyed seeing their relationship grow. ROLL-OVER SPOILER I also liked the addition of the trainee jumper (who’s name escapes me at the moment).

I’m so happy I finally started this series. I’m anxiously awaiting the next book in the series, Aftermath!

Series Reading Order:

Grimspace (Sirantha Jax, #1) Wanderlust (Sirantha Jax, #2) Doubleblind (Sirantha Jax, #3) Killbox (Sirantha Jax, #4) Aftermath (Sirantha Jax, #5)

Endgame – Rls Sept 2012

I had a number of favorite quotes throughout this one, here are some:

% = % of way through the book

95% “Men can be very stupid,” he says bitterly. “We cease to value what we have until it’s gone, and only then do we realize the gold we glimpsed in distant hills paled as dross compared to treasure we had in hand.”””

79% “Grimspace is a bitch mistress who carries unearthly delight in one hand and a crop in the other. We bear the latter to receive the former.”

73% “I’m Sirantha Jax, and I have had enough.”

53% “I don’t see why Jax says stuff like, ‘I would never say this aloud, not even to March’ or thinks she can keep stuff from him. Isn’t he ‘always in her head’ and wouldn’t he know what she was thinking? Or is it that he knows, but hearing her say it would be worse than knowing she’s thinking it?”

49% “White wave will never forsake brown bird.”

20% “A relationship shouldn’t impose limits—and if it does, then it’s wrong. A lover should help you exceed your potential, not clip your wings.”

15% “I’ve learned what some people never do—not to take for granted what I have, while I still have it.”

12% “There’s something sweet, if suicidal, in this. We’re bound by chains of love, but they don’t weigh us down. Instead, they allow us to be bigger and better than we are.”

View all my reviews @ Goodreads

ZAM: Know Thy Enemy

Bizarre things are happening around you and you can’t figure out why though you have your suspicions. Just this morning your married next door neighbour tried to give you a hicky before you pushed them away and they fell onto the fence, spikes piercing their eyes. Yeah, gross but it was an accident and not the only one. Driving to work you run over someone. You panic. No one was around so you sped away hoping no one notices the dent in the hood. The streets are oddly empty for rush hour though you’ve seen a couple of people stumbling around and a few lying unmoving on the ground covered in what you hope is red paint. It’s a bit early for drinking and you’ve never been one for denial. That ain’t paint and the “branch” next to one body ain’t never been part of a tree. Trees don’t bleed. Thinking about it, you remember the smell of your neighbour and their pale and dishevelled appearance. You get out your gun and ammo from underneath the driver’s seat as a group of people appear on the horizon. Are they alive or are they walking targets? What’s the difference?

Once you can discern the living from the dead you need to figure out which of the zombies are the biggest threats and therefore need to be put down first.

Now, you’re unlikely to see any “Thriller” types around, they’re quite rare I’m afraid. Michael Jackson trained those especially for his video. I’d class them as a kind of non-standard undead. Anyway, it’s the “Runners” you ought to worry about. If you don’t pay attention they’ll be on you in the blink of an eye, tearing away at your flesh. Limbless, and sometimes torsoless, “Crawlers” or “ankle-biters” may be slow but they’re stealthy buggers. Remember to look at the ground regularly and even up above. These things can come from anywhere, don’t automatically assume their honorable enough to come at you from the front. Check the rear too. [Steph: Ankle-biters? Ames, your comparing zombies to kids. I don’t think parents would appreciate that. Ames: So? Kids can be zombies too. They can be anyone: a close relative, a friend, your lover. Anyone.]

When you encounter a zombie shoot it in the HEAD. Anywhere else and it’s a wasted bullet. If you’ve no guns or bullets, destroy the brain any way you can: blunt force trauma i.e. a good head bludgeoning, explosion or incineration. Set those bastards ablaze! It’s not illegal anymore so have at it. Go on. You know you’ve always wanted to.

Enemies have aims and zombies are no different. Their wants consist of one thing:

Eating. Your. Flesh.

Humans have been knocked off the top of food chain. Zombies are the kings of the concrete jungle now so it will be useful to know what kind of bait you might require in order to evade or fend them off now and then so here’s some pointers. (What? You’re bitten buddy’s dead. Might as well put his remains to good use. He won’t mind.)

1) HEAD: Zombies absolutely love brains. There are multiple theories why, including glial cell consumption for brain regeneration.

2) TORSO: The torso is like a goody bag of organs. What’s not to love?

3) THIGH: Full of dark meat, the thigh can keep a zombie satisfied for hours due to the high muscle and fat content.

4) HIPS: Generally high in fat content. The hips many times carry some of the organ content of the torso. (Whatever could that mean? Think about it.)

5) UPPER ARM: Zombies enjoy biceps and triceps and occasionally find a shoulder attached.

6) LOWER LEG: Mostly bony. This part of the leg may have a good-sized calf muscle.

7) LOWER ARM: Generally avoided because of the low meat content. Can be fun to snack on.

Anywhere there’s large population of humans there will be hordes of zombies so leaving those areas is imperative. Town and city centres are to be avoided. Hospitals too. If you get bit, shoot yourself or have someone do it for you because you will turn into the very thing you’re fighting. Eating a bullet is a prettier way to go. Believe me. If you suspect you’ve all ready joined the zombie ranks please run through the following checklist. It may save the remaining lives of those you love.

Further Reading

Rob Sacchetto’s The Zombie Handbook: How to Identify the Living Dead and Survive the Coming Zombie Apocalypse
Helium’s How to Identify a Zombie
Andrew Paulo’s How to Identify a Zombie
Zombies in Plain English, a short instructional video
A couple of revision sheets:
A Self-Instruction Manual to Surviving a Zombie Attack
3 Steps to Surviving Zombie Infestation
Zombie Emergency Procedure

Or lose it to Zombie Santa!

ZAM: CDC Acknowledges Zombie Threat (really)

It’s official! From the assistant surgeon general, Ali S. Khan, himself of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a preparedness guide to a zombie apocalypse because it’s “better safe than sorry”. They provide a template emergency plan, a supplies list and describe their own role in response to such a situation. This has obviously lent credence to the legitimate possibility that zombies may not always be fictional monsters and we may actually face the undead in reality at some point in the future. Eek!

If you're    ready for a zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency.

Never Fear – CDC is Ready
If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

Get A Kit, Make A Plan, Be Prepared.

ZAM: Freaky Friday

Freaky Friday is a new feature in which we’ll be sharing our strangest finds concerning books, movies and the paranormal.

Your friendly neighbourhood zombie, Shamblin’ Dave here again. This Freaky Friday, let’s take a look at the creative ways you can survive our coming.

#1: Stay clear of radium

Zombie Marie Curie

#2: If we hit around the holidays, this video should help

#3: Join in a Humans v. Zombies game near you

Humans vs. Zombies (HvZ) is a game of moderated tag played at schools, camps, neighborhoods, military bases, and conventions across the world. Human players must remain vigilant and defend themselves with socks and dart blasters to avoid being tagged by a growing zombie horde. Read more or watch the documentary.

#4: If all else fails, seek out Brad Pitt for help

Artwork by Groggie @ DeviantArt

I’ve heard he’ll be starring in the 2014 movie World War Z, which is based on Max Brooks’ book.

#5: Still need help? Stick around for next week’s topic Know Thy Enemy … or risk becoming our next meal!

ZAM: Practice Makes Perfect

Alrighty, by this point, you’ve learned some Tools to Survive and studied up on how to Know Thy Enemy. Now, it’s time to test your skills and learn ways to practice them.

There's a Zombie Killer in All of Us

There are a number of quizzes available for you to test your ability to survive, skills and knowledge.   You can see what are your chances for surviving a zombie apocalypse? and take the excellent zombie survival quiz.  Have you ever wondered what your body would taste like to a cannibal? Well, now you can find out!

Those are ways to test your skill, there are also many games out there that will help you practice those killin’ skills.

'Left 4 Dead' by Valve

Valve’s Left 4 Dead:

Set during the aftermath of an apocalyptic pandemic, the game pits its four protagonists—dubbed the “Survivors”—against hordes of the infected. There are four game modes: a single-player mode in which allied characters are controlled by AI; a four-player, co-op campaign mode; an eight-player online versus mode; and a four-player survival mode.

'Zombie Shooter'

Sigma Team Co’s Zombie Shooter:

Where is the line between life and death?
How far can human science go trying to understand this?
Take part in the great battle to rescue humanity and find out what’s happening!
The human race is in danger again. This time scientists could not cope the imminent threat and became monsters themselves. Crowds of zombie people filled the secret research base. The dreadful contagion is about to spread earthwide.

Use the last chance to save the humanity from total annihilation!

'Zombie Infection' by GameLoft

GameLoft’s Zombie Infection:

The infection is spreading and fear is everywhere in this non-stop survival shooter.
Head to South America as a soldier and reporter try to uncover the origin of another zombie outbreak.

'Zombie Smash' by gamedoctor

gamedoctor’s Zombie Smash:

ZombieSmash! is a “Survival Comedy” game, featuring undead-themed castle defense and entertaining, physics-based gameplay. The game casts players as Joey, a lone survivor pit against a herd of writhing, unrelenting zombies – to defeat the undead masses, players must use their fingers to flick and smash them until they’re un-undead.

Plants vs. Zombies

PopCap’s Plants vs. Zombies:

Make your very own zombie, then watch it come to “life” in your game!

'Stupid Zombies'

GameResort LLC’s Stupid Zombies:

Those stupid zombies are back, and you are humanity’s last hope to keep them brainless. One man, one shotgun and lots of stupid zombies.

Hopefully those will provide you with a way to test your knowledge, practice your skills, as well as providing some much needed stress relief during your preparations. Enjoy!

Review: Circle of Death by Keri Arthur

Circle of Death (Damask Circle, #2)Circle of Death (Damask Circle, #2)
by Keri Arthur

“In one, vicious night, Kirby Brown’s world is torn apart. Her best friend is dead, killed by a madman who is now after her. And she has no idea why.
Doyle Fitzgerald has been sent to Melbourne, Australia to hunt down a killer. What he doesn’t expect to find is a circle of witches capable of controlling the elements and a sorceress determined to take that power for herself. And he certainly isn’t expecting to play bodyguard to a woman who is more than she seems.When the police prove incapable of protecting Kirby from the monsters that chase her, she has no choice but to place her safety in Doyle’s hand. And while she finds herself inexplicably drawn to him, she fears to trust him because of the magic that lies in his soul.It quickly becomes evident that the reason behind the killings lies in Kirby’s past. But it is a past she has no wish to remember.

Because Doyle isn’t the only one with magic in his soul.

Only her magic is capable of destroying the world.”

Paperback, 320 pages
Published September 3rd 2009 by Piatkus Books
ISBN#: 9780749909178

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Despite a more complex plot and less wooden, more passionate and feisty characters than Circle of Fire and some improvements in the writing, Circle of Death still didn’t grab me.

I think the problem is a distinct lack of background and history of the Damask Circle and its employees. Only the heroine, the main protagonist, has enough back-story to fully understand where she’s coming from.

There’s very little interaction between the small cast of characters other than with the main couple (who were far more likeable than Jon and Maddie of the previous book) so there was nothing to be intrigued by or excited about. At least Circle of Fire had the violently prejudiced cop brother-in-law. There was no such equivalent here to peak my interest.

Even though I didn’t like the perhaps unintended sense of isolation (like the these handful of characters were the last people alive on earth) or the lack of depth and detail, I did enjoy Kirby’s magic -the ability to manipulate the elements and Doyle’s shapeshifting into a panther. The language used isn’t as corny and the book itself reads more like a paranormal romance with actual romance in it this time. I’ll definitely finish the trilogy but unfortunately it’s not a keeper.

View all my reviews

Pre-release Teasers: Kiss of Snow by Nalini Singh

I, like thousands of others, am desperate to get my hands on a copy of Kiss of Snow (Psy-Changeling #10) by Nalini Singh, who is evilly graciously releasing short excerpts from the book prior to its release on May 31st.

I’ve pre-ordered my copy, have you ordered yours?

If you don’t want to be tortured teased with these snippets look away now.

Part of a conversation between Ben and Hawke

“Didja really put Sinna in jail?”

Hawke bit the inside of his cheek. “Yep.”

Brown eyes the same dark shade as his mother’s, turned wolf-amber in shock. “How come?”

“She didn’t follow the rules.”

Ben thought about it for a second, lines wrinkling up that baby-smooth forehead. “Is it like time-out for grown-ups?”


“Oh.” A decisive nod. “I’ll tell Marlee.”

Part of a conversation between Sienna and Hawke

[Sienna] “Do you like my top?”

“Is that what it is?”

“Latest style,” she assured him, ignoring the silky menace of his response. “Laces up the side, so it’s easier to take off.”

His hands clenched on the steering wheel as he headed up into the mountains.

“And the boots.” She lifted one leg up to the dash, stroked her hand over her thigh. “They make me—”

The car shuddered to a halt near the perimeter of den territory.

Another part of a conversation between Sienna and Hawke (and may be linked to the above)

“Not a word,” he snapped as he got into the driver’s seat. “Did you know what you were doing up on that bar?” Not giving her a chance to answer, he continued, “Most of those men were ready to grab you and strip you naked right there.”
Her simmering temper ignited. “I know how to defend myself, thanks to Indigo. And dancing wasn’t a crime last time I checked.”
“I said, not a damn word.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he drove them out of the popular nightlife area.
She snorted, too mad to be thinking about the sanity of challenging a predatory changeling male in the grip of pure raging fury. “How about instead of orders, Mr. Alpha Wolf, you actually stop hiding and talk to me?”
“Don’t push me, little girl.” Quiet, quiet words.

Countdown Quote #1

Indigo gave him an easy, dangerous smile. “I know all you have to do is snap your fingers and women throw themselves into your bed—” She held up a hand when he growled. “I’m not saying you use your position, but the fact that you’re alpha, the reason why you’re alpha—your strength, your speed, your sheer dominance, that’s potent stuff. Not to mention your pretty face.”

The countdown quotes are currently being released on Nalini’s blog and her Facebook page.

ZAM: Wishing Well Wednesday (Survival Edition)

Wishing Well Wednesday is a weekly feature showcasing the books we have on our wish lists and those we’re looking forward to being published.

The Ultimate Survival Wishlist

Can You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse? by Max Brallier

Description from Goodreads:

Inside these pages lies unspeakable horror. Bloodsplattering, brain-impaling, flesh-devouring horror. You’ve probably read your fair share of zombie stories. But this time it’s different. No longer can you sit idle as a bunch of fools make all the wrong moves. All hell is about to break loose—and YOU have a say in humanity’s survival.
You have choices to make.

Moral dilemmas.

Strategic decisions.

Weapons. Vehicles.

Will you be a hero?

Or will you cover your own ass at all costs?

Can you withstand the coming hours, days, weeks, and months? Or will you die amidst the chaos and violence of a zombie uprising?

Or, worst of all, will you become one of them?

Zompoc: How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse by Michael G. Thomas & Nick S. Thomas

Description from Goodreads:

Meticulously researched and vigorously detailed this important survival manual is the most detailed and up-to-date book you will find to keep you and your family safe during the Zompoc (Zombie Apocalypse). This book is unique in its coverage of all Zombie strains from the viral infected fast zombies through to the shambling re-animated undead. All subjects from zombie identification, first-aid, escape techniques, household defence, combat techniques and raiding through to bartering, supplies, vehicle modification, weapons and convoy structure are all covered in great detail. With this book you can prepare for the day the Zompoc strikes and be ready to fight back and eradicate the Zombie menace from our streets. This book is illustrated throughout and even contains full plans and instructions for a post-Zompoc rebuilding of civilisation!

Zompoc: Weapons & Tactics for the Zombie Apocalypse by Michael G. Thomas & Nick S. Thomas

Description from Goodreads:

How do you fight a zombie if you are armed with only a shovel and are being pursued down a street? How can you raise a body of like minded individuals to defend your territory or to expand during the Zompoc? What is the Zompoc and what is a zombie?
This book was written to answer these questions and much more. Many books recommend particular weapon types but they are always described by those with no experience of these items. As well as providing information we think is important we also offer more specific advice and guidance based upon the many questions we received from the readers of our first book. In Zompoc: How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse (HTSAZA) we covered all the key areas that would be of concern with regards to survival, basic combat and overall strategies for the apocalypse. Some of the most popular parts of the book were the sections on long term survival and on the specifics of weapons and tactics when fighting zombies. It was with these points in mind that we produced this new additional to the Zompoc library.

The Zombie Combat Manual: A Guide to Fighting the Living Dead by Roger Ma

Description from Goodreads:

During a zombie outbreak, 98% of individuals will have to destroy their undead opponent without the aid of a firearm. Will you be ready?

The Zombie Combat Manual is a comprehensive guide that demonstrates how anyone, from seasoned fighter to average citizen, can become an effective warrior in the inevitable battle against the undead.

With detailed illustrations and firsthand accounts from zombie combat veterans, this manual provides readers with the information they need to emerge victoriously from a close combat encounter with a walking corpse. Now is the time to learn how to survive a hand-to-hand battle against the advancing army of the undead-before humans fall prey to their growing ranks.

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead by Max Brooks

Description from Goodreads:

The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.

Dr Dale’s Zombie Dictionary: The A-Z Guide to Staying Alive by Dale Seslick

Description from Goodreads:

Worried about what to do in the event of the dead rising from their graves and trying to destroy humanity? Worry no more! With the help of numerous films and Wikipedia, Dr Dale has compiled this rigorously researched A-Z list of everything you need to know about zombies: how to recognise them, how to fight them and even how to classify them. He can answer all of your burning questions including:

How can a sheep help defend me against the undead?

What will the response of the Women’s Institute be to an attack?

What’s the most useful style of dance to know in the event of the apocalypse?

From the best kind of clothing to wear to the most appropriate soundtrack for a zombie apocalypse, this is the ultimate guide to preparing for and surviving the return of the undead.

Full money back guarantee offered should you die in a zombie apocalypse within 30 days of purchase

And if you should lose the battle with the zombies and DON’T survive…

The ZOMBIE’S Survival Guide, Thrive In The Zombie Apocalypse After You Turn… by Calvin A.L. Miller II

Description from Goodreads:

Love Bites. Hate Eats…

The “Zombie” Apocalypse is coming. It’s not “if” it’s “when”, and if you think you are going to be one of the brave survivors you see in the movies and video games or read about in books and graphic novels you are sadly mistaken. You know who I mean, the handsome and tough hero who was a Navy Seal that women love and men want to be. Or the beautiful, big breasted, brilliant heroine with a PhD in “Science”. You aren’t even the wisecracking sidekick who lives to defend the heroes. You are a regular person, an everyman. Just as I was before I created this fully illustrated guidebook. So face it, the odds are much more in favor of you becoming one of the undead. A ghoul. A Dead. A “Zombie”.

But don’t worry, there is hope. There are ways for you to “live” a very rewarding “life” after you turn. How long, well that depends. But you might as well enjoy it while you can. Sure, it’s not as cool as being a vampire. They get the late nights partying, looking like the heroes I mentioned above, the cool clothes, and getting to sleep all day. No, you will be a staggering, oozing, puss-filled mess.

But how can you fight Healthies armed with weapons that can be anything from a boy with a screwdriver to a soldier with an automatic rifle? You will not only have physical limitations but you will also be stupid, right?


Many “zombies” retain much of their intelligence after they turn. The ones that are out in the open and shuffling toward people who have guns or other weapons are the dumb ones. The ones that weren’t prepared. The smart ones know what to do. They go unnoticed. They wait for their chance to attack. They plot. But if the “Zombie Apocalypse” is coming and hasn’t happened yet, how do I know all of this?

Because it has already started. It just hasn’t reached you yet, or maybe you’re not aware. The mind can play tricks.

And because I’m Hetfield Madden.

And I’m a “Zombie”…

Good luck and happy hunting!