ZAM: Freaky Friday (Zombromance Edition)

Freaky Friday is a new feature in which we’ll be sharing our strangest finds concerning books, movies and the paranormal.

Your friendly neighbourhood zombie, Shamblin’ Dave here again. This Freaky Friday, I’m trying to explain to Steph … Zombies Need Sexin’ Too!
I understand you wantin’ to show Shufflin’ Eve how you feel about her.
It’s just …. ICK, Dude! But, ya know I love ya!

Yeah, okay. But, I’m not stickin’ around to help you with your post then. I’m out!
That actually works because this post is all about the freaky stuff we find and it might just upset him more.

Is it just me? Zombie + Human = Ick! I’ll pass, thanks!

But then Zombie + Zombie ain’t much better…

But, if you consider yourself to be a supporter of the sexual liberation and “want to help others experiment sexually after your death”, don’t forget to get cha one of these.

Lookin’ for a ZomBROmance? You’re in luck! The dead have risen from their graves to take over civilization. There’s only one thing…all they want are the men.

Or if you wanted something a little more hardcore well, there is a zombie porn movie to satisfy your needs.

Just in case you zombies have some sensitive sex questions, Sextutor is here for you!

***(NSFW) Zombie Sex Guide might not be something you want on your browser history at work***
Here are a few tips to hold ya over until you get home 😉

No Cure for Crotch Rot
This is the number-one enemy of zombies trying to hook up. Ongoing bodily decay means that your junk will probably fall off at some point. So don’t encourage it by yanking too hard when you jerk off. If you notice you’ve dropped something crucial, pick it up and try to superglue it back on.

I’d Like a Piece of That
The putrid, rotting flesh of the undead does not lend itself well to love bites, nibbles, or giving hickeys. Chances are you’ll unintentionally bite off more than you can chew – like an ear or a shoulder. On the other hand, if you’re a zombie going after a living person, feel free to sink your incisors in – preferably into the neck, viscera, or the BRAINS.

Gotta love the creativity and imagination of others!

Have a great weekend!


About StephB

USMC wife ~ bibliophile ~ gadget addict ~ furry baby mama

Posted on May 27, 2011, in Features & Memes, Freaky Friday, Sci-Fi & Fantasy and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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